Oh, the Agony of...

de feet, de knee, de elbow, de shoulder. What the heck's happening to me? Dare I say that my aging self is getting old. And, am I turning into my mother by telling you about it?

What's next? Ben-Gay, Depends, an Orthopedic Doc on speed dial? :)
Did you know that just after I turned 40, I got a letter from AARP? Are you F-ING SERIOUS???? My name shouldn't be on that spam list for QUITE some time. They must've realized their mistake because I didn't hear from them again, but dang, they really know how to hurt a girl.

Have I told you that oftentimes...in fact, most of the time, I'm asked for my ID at restaurants and the wine store? Have I told you how disappointing it is that it's because I put "request ID" on the back of all of my credit cards?

I am now starting to understand the need for Dr. Wrinkle Remover. I don't care if my face cracks and doesn't show emotion anymore. Suddenly, the concept makes sense. Luckily, I'm broke so I can't give in to the urge to have things ironed out, lifted up, and tucked in.

I'm Brilliant because.....

1. I have discovered that PMS stands for Pesky Mood Swings
2. I've figured out how to avoid doing laundry...... febreeze & weekly trips to Target to buy more underwear...... (kidding, but not far away!)
3. I know exactly what movies to put in my 5-disc DVD changer to elicit the tears needed to deal with Pesky Mood Swing - Cry-baby.
4. I have hidden my soon-to-be 15 year old son's birthday gift in the dishwasher.... pretty sure he won't find it between now and his birthday on Friday.
5. Dunkin' Donuts coffee really tastes the best, straight-up black....no cream or sugar needed.

I'm pretty sure there is more corroborating evidence to support my brilliance, but I've got to finally drag me arse to bed after waking up in the middle of the night with the need to document my high level of ability to WOW and WOO my audiences with my ever-exciting adventures and stories. G'night me friends!