The Ineffective Middle Finger

There are ways to be effective and ways to be ineffective. I'm guessing that most people have the goal of being effective. Only a dumbass would strive for ineffectiveness. Well, I met one such dumbass last week. Here is the story of our encounter......
I left work and took the exit for 95 south. I go only one exit until I take the route that travels east to take me home. A car behind me headed down the ramp to 95 south, at close range. Rather than go around me, he remained closely behind me in the right lane. We both took the exit to head east. Upon merging onto the eastern route we both wanted to move to the left lane as there was slower moving traffic in the right. Here is where the fun began.
As I was in front of the tailgater on the southern route, on the ramp to the eastern route, as we merged onto the eastern route, I was still in front of him as we moved into the left lane. Apparently, this was not pleasing to him and caused anger. He shoved his hand very far forward in the front window and raised his middle finger. This was effective. It revealed that he was angry and didn't like me. It was even effective in that it elicited a raised middle finger from me in return. Because there was a line of cars to the right, he couldn't go around me which may have led to more frustration.
Having exchanged middle fingers following proper protocol, I believed our encounter was over. However, being the good driver that I am, I followed the 3-second rule and looked in my rearview mirror. It was at this time that I noticed the angry man driving with both hands on the wheel with the middle finger still extended. My thought was "whatever". However, the finger continued to be extended as I drove on. In fact, this continued for the entire eastern route of 13.8 miles. 13.8 miles?!?!? Wow.....that is one angry person.
Funny thing is that after about mile 2.4, it was losing its effectiveness. It became funny, but was also no longer the most noticeable thing on the road. Just as a hood ornament can be seen as you glance in the rearview mirror, the finger remained in place. This person's anger with me caused him to lose his control of the situation. Eventually, it turned around and my behavior controlled his action........ for 13.8 miles.
Now, that's ineffective.....but it was really funny!

An Ode to Panties

I dream of panties
pretty, lacy, and small;
Not the ones that look like my Granny's
I don't like those at all.

But, I pluck and pull
to make them fit right;
Now, I'm starting to mull,
"Is it really worth the fight?"

I want something that won't roll down,
maybe something that won't pinch;
Not bloomers that belong to a clown,
why can't it just be a cinch?

So, I pull out the briefs
cotton, white, and boring;
Oh my Goodness Grief!
How will I ever be alluring?

What are you going to be for Halloween?

Me?

I'm going to be a curmudgeon. My porch lights will be off. The lights on the main level will be off.

I will be in the basement; fire in the fireplace, puppies snuggled in, movies, good wine (not necessarily a fine wine, that's expensive ...but a good one) and good food (who knows what that means).

My basement has a sliding glass door and a window into the backyard, but the front is underground so I can be in hiding. I'll have the window open. I'll be able to hear the evening passing by on the sidewalk one unit over to the right. Costumes shuffling, giggles, excitement, crying from exhaustion.....kids and parents; there may be the sound of the predicted rain, the rustling of those leaves that are all over the place.

It will be so nice to hear the sounds and know that the holiday is being celebrated. I'm not overly keen on the holiday itself, but the sounds, smells, and knowledge that I used to do that for my own kids is a good feeling.



Happy Halloween!

Do you know why..........? Because.....

Do you know why Weight Watchers doesn't work for me?
Because.......
Because I don't follow the program. I don't journal, read labels, figure out points, or weigh food to re-gain knowledge of portion control.

Do you know why I don't follow the program?
Because.......
Because I'm not motivated. I want to be. I want to be able to walk up the stairs without getting winded. I want to get off my blood pressure medication. I want to come home and wear what I had on during the day instead of changing into sweatpants.

Do you know why I'm not motivated?
Because.......
I'm stuck on this one. I have 2 great kids, 2 great puppies, a home of my own, and a job that I love. It's not a perfect life...there is debt, home & car repairs, parental angst. But, I'm generally pleased with my life.

So.....if you know why? ...... please, clue me in....
Because.......
Because I'm not sure.

My best ideas come too late.

I don't mean that my best ideas come too late for me to do anything about them. But, look at the time. It is 11:40pm. I got into bed, all snug and ready to fall asleep. My puppies jumped up and joined me. My daughter snuck in (after a stressful day...for her...she's 12: All drama, all the time). All was right, and the idea of a long night's rest was before me.
My head gently fell to the pillow, my positioning was perfect and comfortable, my breathing relaxing into the calmness of the comfort.
THAT is when my mind kicked in. Ideas started flowing, words which had escaped me througout the day broke through and were ready to be spoken....or written, as the case may be. Coherent thought replaced emotional reactions. Motivation to put forth ideas replaced the desire to sit like a vegetable on the porch or the couch.
Oftentimes, I ignore this occurrence and continue the path to sleep. That leads to a lengthened time between head hitting the pillow and sleep taking over. It also leads to a night fraught with odd, realistic, vivid dreams which sneak into my thoughts throughout the next day.
Tonight, I decided to allow my brilliant thoughts out by putting pen to pa....ummmm....finger to keyboard? I will be interested to see if this alleviates the difficulty of falling asleep, the dreams to follow, and the interference of said dreams into my day.

Good Night my friends, my thoughts, my demons, my ideas. See you in my dreams.

Verbosity

Is it a curse or a skill?

• My verbosity is a skill, a talent, something to be heralded...applauded...
• The verbosity of others is a curse, an annoyance, a hinderance, a thorn in my side...

But, here is the problem with verbosity in today's world. It is a dying art. In the world of Twitter and the status of the Facebook, all one needs is a word, a phrase......maybe even....*gasp*....can it be? *gasp* ..... a sentence???

Do we give in? Do we allow today's definition of sociability to decrease our desire to share words? I hope to increase my efforts to blog my verbosity, while maintaining the minimalistic social networking standard to which we have entered.

Can you feel that?

....it's a shift ....it's a change ....can you feel it?
I can. I feel it and it may only get worse until the shift splits the path.
It's called adolescence.... or pre-adolescence for now.
What does this mean, how is it defined? Some see it as a time of stress, frustration, growth, independence. There is foot stomping, door slamming, the hand on that one hip that is sticking out, the crossed arms. There is yelling, blame, tears. Quotes may be "I hate you", "You're ruining my life", "You don't understand". That is what people think of or fear about what is coming.
For me, there is a different shift that is turning out to be more painful than that other adolescent stuff. It is the shifting of pill-counting, neb scheduling, worry, and stress over Cystic Fibrosis. For the first time, this last appointment was really hard on Ginny. They are always tiring, stressful, exhausting both emotionally and physically. But, there was something different this time. Cystic Fibrosis is shifting more to a problem she has to deal with. It's always been hers, but the burden has been mostly mine.
It is breaking my heart to watch her feel this more heavily, to cry that she "just wants to be normal!!!" It isn't fair, it does suck, it is annoying and frustrating. It always has been..... but, now it isn't just the physical issues for her. It is moving to a much deeper place for her, and that is pulling pain from deep within me.