2007 - The Year of Interesting Holiday Celebrations

Didn't really think I'd be back tonight, didya? Well, neither did I! But, I have just returned home after spending the last 8 hours at the Emergency Room with my neighbor, who dislocated her hip, and her 13 year old granddaughter. Not necessarily how I was planning to spend my New Year's Eve, but it felt good to squeeze in one last good deed for the year. She was ever so grateful!
But, this was nothing compared to my Valentine's Day. We had an ice storm and my power went out early in the morning. By late afternoon, my house was 55 degrees and I was shivering. Friends of mine happened to call and told me that I must come up to their house. This is one of my favorite couples in the world, who happen to be great friends of mine, and happen to be lesbians. I tried to protest that they should be alone on Valentine's Day, but they insisted I come over and defrost. So, I went up, ordered Chinese food, and spent my Valentine's Day and over night with a lesbian couple. What can I say!

Dear 2007......goodbye....

Dear 2007 -

Thank you for the challenges you brought. There have been health issues, dissatisfying love-life, friends lost, terrible job situation, and disappointment in the choices the ex made for the kids.

I must admit, I did not rise to the challenges at first. I fell to the floor and allowed the pain to be heaped upon me. Did you lift me up, 2007? No, you did not! You continued to beat the living hell out of me until I had no choice but to get up or turn into the puddle of loss you were aiming for.

While it wasn't until the end of the year that I was able to begin turning things around, I am looking forward to the direction that I've been heading. So, here is what I was able to do in 2007:
- Get a new job at a prestigious, world-renowned University
- Re-finance for a great deal which allowed me to pay off all credit cards, and get cash back for home repair and vacation
- Had electricians come in and put ceiling fans in all of the rooms, fix electrical issues, got chimney fixed
- Booked vacation to Atlantis, Paradise Island for me and the kids in March, 2008....paid for in full due to re-finance
- Provided a great holiday season for my children, focused on their needs/wants and filled with love and fun!!!!!

I look forward to reflecting on what I have learned and will learn in 2008!
Helen

Darn, I don't have a medical problem!

So, I have no explanation for the constant viral issues I had all summer, the 30 lb weight gain over this year, or the chicken pox-like marks all over my legs.
No diabetes, cholesterol, or the ever-hoped for Thyroid problem to explain why my arse doesn't fit into any of my pants.
So, the diagnosis is: Fat and scaly, but otherwise, healthy..........great!

Dear 2007....

Dear 2007 -
You suck.... *X-strike that-X* *cough* *eh-hem*.....

Dear 2007 -
I'm so glad you're over.... No..no...that's not what I meant to say...... how should I say this......

OK, I'm thinkin' I'll try again when I'm more inspired. I think I'll take a moment to read, relax, take a warm shower before I try again.

Merry Christmas!

Here it is, just after 5:00am on Christmas morning, and I am awake....unable to get back to sleep....like a small child eager to get downstairs to the presents. Why is this? My kids are at their Dad's, so it's just me, I don't even have a pet jumping all over me to get outside. Although I haven't counted, I'm pretty sure there were no additional presents put under the tree while I was sleeping. So, why am I awake? Guess I just wanted to be first!

The Joy of Scrooge!

Today I am Scrooge. My kids were picked up at noon, will spend the evening with their father and his live-in girlfriend (perhaps fiancee after their weekend in NYC together?) going to her church and waking up with them.
Tomorrow at noon, I will pick them up and as Scroogish as I feel today, I will be overwhelmed with the joy and excitement of being with them again. My brother will come over, we will open gifts, eat good food and have wonderful fun! The following 2 days will be filled with playing and fighting over the gifts, whose is best, who got most.....and I can't wait!
For today, I will allow myself to feel the Scrooge knowing what tomorrow will bring!

Life IS Stranger Than Fiction!

I've spoken a couple of times about Cystic Fibrosis. It is in our lives, and it's not our favorite part. Some days I deal with it better than others. I cringe when my daughter coughs, sniffles, has stomach aches, or gets tired from regular activity.
So often, I feel alone when dealing with this. There was no discussion or feeling of connection in my marriage with Cystic Fibrosis. My ex used to say "her issue" instead of actually using the words Cystic Fibrosis, disease, chronic condition.... so I felt alone there also. It was always better to ignore things because they might go away if you did.
The strangest connection came about today. I work with many people, some of who have been at CTE-JHU for a while, others who have been there a short time, like me. For the first time, I made up Christmas Cards and put candy on all of the envelopes. I've not really done this in previous jobs, I'm just so happy to be there, I was caught up in the excitement of the season. The cards I made up were the ones which I purchased from the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation (CFF). I even put the cards in so when they were pulled out of the envelope, that is what would be seen before the lovely face of the card. It's just my little way of putting it out there to get into people's minds.
Today, one of my co-workers said that she had noticed that my cards were from CFF and she wondered if I supported the charity. I told her that my daughter has it. She smiled and said that she also has Cystic Fibrosis.
WOW!

Drew, Ginny, and Helen Elves

Check out our Holiday Elf Song & Dance by clicking the underlined!!!

Christmas plays & concerts - a new twist

'Tis the season for children's plays, band concerts, pageants, etc......... The kids are full of excitement, anxiety, the thrill of the stage! What isn't fun about that?
Memorizing lines, choreography, staging, creating costumes, and gathering concert dress uniforms adds to the season with last minute button pops, unthreaded hemlines, and ......how do you tie a necktie?
Kids hang out with their friends and become "a star" for the night while parents cringe at forgotten lines, dropped scenery, and the general torture of the first school play of the year.
But, here's the newest addition to the season.......
the ex-husband bringing a date to the children's school events....
I know I've focused this blog on spinning the positive of the insanity of life. I'm having trouble with this one. My kids have lost friends who are no longer allowed to play at their Dad's house or spend the night because there is a stranger living there. There is no engagement, no marriage, so.......essentially, my ex is bringing a date to school events, to pick up my kids from school, and into their home. I must say, I'm also tired of answering the questions of my friends regarding this situation. My friends are the teachers at the kids' school with whom I used to work side-by-side. My friends are also the parents of the students I used to teach, some of them from Kindergarten, up to 8th grade. Where is the positive spin on that one?
The talents of my children are a reflection of their parents.......well, at least me, as the music major, best actress of my high school thespian club, and recorded CD artist. Now, there is another person stating her excitement over the Christmas musical because she used to do musicals as a kid....... Great, but her upbringing in the cheesehead state has nothing to do with the nature OR nurture of my children's talents and abilities to get up on a stage and "do their thing". That has to do with the confidence instilled by their upbringing and education from a school which has always assigned, supported, and encouraged public speaking.

It has been my pleasure to see my kids perform, dress up, and play with the confidence which has been fostered under my tenure as their mother. Long Live the Mama, LONG LIVE MY SWEET BABIES! Long live my DNA.........

First Snow of the Season

Today was the first snow of the season. It was beautiful when I was driving in this morning. The snow was swirling around and it made me want to spin and spin around the flakes. But, the roads were icy, the air was cold, the sidewalks were slick. Progression of the storm along with the cold weather made the driving worse, the schools close early, and the after school activities shut down for the afternoon/evening.
Beauty comes in many different ways...............

• It can be the season swirling flakes around you as you walk down the street.
• It can be the warmth you feel inside your house, even though the outside is cold & windy.
• It can be the excitement of a 2-hour delay or snow day for the kids when the schools can't handle what the weather has decided to deposit upon their lands.

Let's appreciate the "swirling now" part of the day. Ignore the accidents, cancellations, and mass delays due to traffic which guided the day.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow..........................

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is a day to enjoy good food with family and friends and be thankful for what we have. Well, here's how my day has gone and what I'm thankful for:
1) I'm thankful that when my closet door fell off in my hands this morning (yes, reminiscent of the shower doors) that it didn't hit me in the head.
2) I'm thankful that the 2 charges which appeared on my credit card this morning from Lord & Taylor totaling $322.52 are not mine. Hopefully, I will not have to pay for the person who has taken my credit card number and shopped a store that is too expensive for me to afford. That's probably just a pair of pants and a tee-shirt :). I will find out more tomorrow when the billing dispute office is open.....which leads to:
3) I'm thankful that the billing dispute folks at my bank got the day off, thus don't have to worry about the charges on my credit card as I do.
But, MOSTLY.........
4) I'm thankful for Boston Market who were there for me when I needed my tryptophan, carb, and gravy fix to make it through the fun I've had today.....now, let me sleep, Oh Great Chemical Tryptophan!

HERSTORY: Teaching Hospitals

HELEN QUOTE: "This is a teaching hospital, so I shall teach!"
This is long, but really worth it and is a lesson that we MUST be advocates for ourselves, our children and any in our care!!!

As a 3 month old, Ginny was hospitalized with a Nasal-Gastric (NG) feeding tube. Yes, it's just what it sounds like, a tube which goes up the nose and into the stomach and dumps nutrients into the stomach. And, yes, this was something which I learned to insert. That's something they taught me, Lesson #1.

While we were in the hospital, a Physical Therapist (PT) came in to teach me how to perform Chest PhysioTherapy (Chest PT) on a small baby by thumping the crap out of her.....okay, actually, cupping the hand and patting each lobe of the lungs. Lesson #2 for Helen. As I was learning this, an Attending Physician came into the room with his entourage. Said entourage consisted of a 3rd year Resident, 1st year Resident, and a Medical Student. It was the start of the new medical year so they all had new roles (never, EVER get hospitalized on July 1!!!!....Lesson #3).

The Attending was trying to be impressive to his latest set of groupies and thought he'd impress me with big words. His favorite was the word "sphincter". He told me that the tube was irritating the sphincter (the one between the esophegus and the stomach) and that it would continue to do so causing irritation of the sphincter, thus acid reflux and the sphincter wouldn't heal.....sphincter, sphincter, sphincter.....at the time, I had a 3 year old son who was not doing well with toilet training. Sphincter was not an impressive word to me!

Anyway, he continued running in circles telling me that the tube couldn’t stay in, but she probably couldn’t tolerate oral feed, taking a bottle by mouth. He wouldn’t listen to me, or explain what he really meant, or what his solution to this problem would be although I was pretty sure I knew. He wanted to put a feeding tube into her stomach directly. That way, we’d plug the food into a port in her stomach. Wouldn’t that be a really cool procedure to take his entourage through??? My, my what a great experience for them since they ARE in a teaching hospital.

LESSON FROM HELEN: I finally stopped the Attending and told him that he needed to leave the room. He tried to continue speaking, but I looked at him and said, “There are 4 of you looking at me and talking at me, but you are not listening to me. You say she can’t continue with the NG feeds, but you don’t think she can tolerate the oral feeds, but we haven’t even tried them. You are not listening to me and you need to leave.” When he tried to speak again, I told him he must leave and I turned my back on him to focus my full attention on the PT working with me.

They all left and I collapsed, handing Ginny over to the PT who told me I did the right thing. She told me that I need to be an advocate for my child and do what I believe is right.

A bit later, the 3rd year Resident came into the room. I’m pretty sure she was the one who drew the short straw. In a very intelligent (condescending) tone, she said, “Fine. We are going to try it your way.” She pulled out the NG tube and told me that a nurse would be in later with a bottle and they would try it “my way”.

END RESULT: That was the last time Ginny was on a feeding tube. Guess she could handle those oral feeds, and I’m sure her sphincter appreciated the break, I know mine did!

HERSTORY: Definition & Reason

Herstory is my past stories. I call it Herstory because I am a her, not because I'm an extreme feminist or anything. History is associated with research, textbooks, absent-minded professors (if they are men), and boredom. Now, granted, that is not the only thing associated with history, but for my purposes, I'm going with that definition because the word "his" is in it.
When you come across Herstory, it will be funny, exciting, full of hilarity, ridiculous situations, and hopefully, lessons learned.

We all want History to provide us with knowledge to have those "lessons learned", and I'm hopeful that my Herstory will do the same. So, sit back, relax, enjoy and learn when you see one of my Herstory posts.

We All Fall Down...

The leaves are falling from the trees, sticking to the roads in the rain, and fluttering around the cars as we drive. Rain is dreary, falling leaves are melancholy, but the season has such great features. The air becomes crisp and fresh, fireplaces are in use and the aroma triggers feelings of comfort. Hot chocolate, hot cereal, and cold toes are all part of the fun.

But the best, truly my favorite part, is Thanksgiving Dinner! I love the turkey, the gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, and the deep, rich colors of the perfectly decorated table.

My kids will be in Florida with their father and his family. I will be home without them which is dreary and melancholy, but I still love the season. Happy Thanksgiving!

It's a High Tech Life For Us!

Yes, I'm playing catch-up on my blog. Lots has happened but I haven't had time to journal it, so enjoy reading!

So, after my High-Tech Symposium on Thursday, I called my children as I was on my way home. My 13 year old son, Drew, had been invited to a party for Friday night and "didn't have a thing to wear". In his defense, he has grown and his clothes haven't caught up with him.
I told him that I would come home, pick him up and take him to the store to get something which made him groan (and me do the same as the thought of going back out after getting home didn't exactly appeal to me).
THE HIGH-TECH SOLUTION: He checked the tags in his clothing for his current size and relayed those to me by calling my cell phone as I was on the way home. I went to the store and looked for items befitting a teenage boy party, while keeping Drew's style in mind. He likes the look of the button-down, collared shirt decorated with flames over a t-shirt of a complementary color. Once I stumbled upon this outfit, I took a picture of it with my cell phone, sent a picture message to his cell phone and continued in the store. Within 2 minutes, Drew called me and approved the outfit in the picture which I then purchased and he then wore on the next night for his party.
When I told my sister the events of my day, her response was "You are The Jetsons!!!" As a matter of fact, we were very high-tech, space-folk-ish! What a day!

What did YOU do at work on Thursday?

Well, here's what I did. I attended the Emerging Technologies Symposium at the Applied Physics Lab at the University at which I am employed. It was like a gaming conference for the people who created the games. Highly intelligent conversation, thought-provoking ideas, and great knowledge-sharing came out of the day.

AND, I got to fly a vehicle over Mt. St. Helen's in a simulated rescue mission. It was highly cool :). I crashed the vehicle, then got it right again and spun the vehicle all around, actually feeling dizzy in the process as it was stretched out in front of me on large screens. The feelings were similar to that of watching a roller coaster on IMAX. My friend took a turn and aimed the vehicle skyward. She accidentally hit the turbo speed and went 2000 mph at the sun. We called her Icarus the remainder of the day.

Then, there was the virtual reality helmet......yes......I look very odd, but WOW!!! I was looking at a street scene. Pushing the button had me walking forward down the street, passing the buildings. Then, I turned right to go down another street....I didn't move the mouse to the right, I turned my body to the right and was able to walk down that street. I accidentally maneuvered myself into a street post. I actually stopped and took a step back, grabbed the chair and listened to the people waiting for their turn laughing. It was a blast!!! Another person looked up and was able to fly.....her reaction was to keep saying "Oh, S!@t!" which also got laughter from the crowd. There was just as much fun watching the virtual reality as there was participating in it.

So, this is what I did at work on Thursday, what about you?

The Appointment - November 2007

Once every 3 months, we need to go through the ordeal of taking Ginny to her Cystic Fibrosis Clinic appointment at JH. I say ordeal because of the amount of time it actually takes for the appointment, the hassle it can be to drive and park, the stress for the couple of days leading up to the appointment and the collapse which occurs after.

Below is Appointment Summary for November 2007:
1. Height, Weight, Blood Pressure
November - 64.5 lbs - INCREASED 6.5 lbs!!!!!!!
2. PFTs - Pulmonary Function Tests
118% which is down from her normal 130%. Yes, over 100% sounds great and is fantastic. However, ANY decrease is NOT good!!!!!!
3. Doctor
Review of Height-Weight Ratio: Height - Weight Ratio: IDEAL = 50%+ PREVIOUS: 29% CURRENT: 46% !!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!! She is almost where they want her to be. Where they have been hounding her/us to get her up to. AMAZING!!!!!! Dr. R was so complimentary. He used words such as excellent, proud, good job and ended with "Keep up the good work!" Wow! We've waited a long time to hear that! Then, there's the throat swab which is done every time.
4. Nutritionist
Reviewed the eating habits and suggests how to increase calories. Not much to comment on this appointment due to the excellent increase in weight and height-weight ratio.
5. Nurse
Reviewed equipment, cleaning, directions and needs for assistance with insurance company. She gives us handouts to help at home, school and anywhere else as needed.
6. Pharmacist
Reviewed all medications, dosages, writes out new scripts as needed.
7. Respiratory/Physical Therapist
She came in to review the breathing treatments and Chest PT. This did not go well and we need to come up with processes to improve. This includes at her father's house, maybe there even more so than mine. He hasn't cracked the Vest out in a long time which the PT told Ginny was unacceptable. This portion of the appointment left her in tears and me feeling a bit nauseous.
8. Psych
She came in to give us ideas for PT incentive and to cheer Ginny up.
9. Research
This time, we participated in a research survey. It consisted of 3 questionnaire papers on my part and one on Ginny's part. The researcher read Ginny's and recorded her responses, I filled mine out at the same time. It was trying to gauge how the nutrition portion, self-esteem and feelings about the protocols by the family and the patient.

OTHERS - not this time, but once per year blood has to be drawn. Every other year, x-rays are taken. Then, there are the times that other doctors come in.....never sure who or why they are there, but it is a teaching hospital......one day I'll have to go over my theory about that!!!!

How much does it weigh?

Well, isn't that the ultimate question!!!!!
I'm so focused on my weight......or, overweight...... at this time. But, maybe I really need to weigh the other things in my life!
I don't know that I really can give a specific weight to things, but I can at least give it a High, Medium, Low, don't ya think????!!!!!!????

Child #1 hitting the teen years: OMG!!!!!
Child #2 leaving the single digits: Time to Pass Out!!!!!
Being a Recorded CD Artist: HIGH
Living Through a difficult job: LOW
Dealing with my children's change in their personal time: LOW
The private school my children have gone to that I worked in and have supported over the years going in a very different direction which doesn't match our needs: LOW

MOVING ON:
Getting my dream job: HIGH
My Finances: MEDIUM (so much better than the lower than low that has been in that area for YEARS!!!!!!)
Potential Finances: HIGH!!!!!
Less than 9 months from turning 40:

• PHYSICALLY: I'm falling apart! It seems as though something new makes a creaking sound each day :)
• MENTALLY: I can't even wait!!!!! I've heard so many great things about turning 40! I just know that it has to be better than what I've been dealing with in my 30s.

New Job: HIGH

• Wow! There are so many potentials for me! In terms of my education, personal growth, professional growth, and potential!

Thanks for making my hapiness factor feel so heavy! My job can be easy-going or LIGHT-WEIGHT, but can also have busy times which are HEAVY on the calendar. But, I must tell you that both scenarios make me feel strong.

Well, isn't that the ultimate question? Which weighs more....... a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks? I feel like I've got an equal load :)........go figure!!!!

Bitter Woman Karaoke

So, some friends of mine got married a couple of weeks ago. It was a small wedding so they threw a party this weekend and invited friends. There was food and drink and much fun, including Karaoke Kerry who had the biggest book of songs I've ever seen. There were the typical songs....country, jazz, blues, and even Broadway and other tunes.

It was then that I saw a couple of my favorite tunes and saw a theme forming. The first song that I signed up to sing.......at my friends' wedding party.......was On My Own from Les Mis. "On my own, pretending he's beside me, all alone, I walk with him till morning............and I know, it's only in my mind, that I'm talking to myself and not to him.......I love him, but when the night is over, he is gone, a river's just a river......."
Nothing like a tribute to loneliness as a gift to my newlywed friends!

My next choice was the Carrie Underwood hit "Before He Cheats"!
Need I say more!

Hence was born the "Bitter Woman Karaoke"! Feel free to post more songs to add to the list for future visits.

So overwhelmed, I'll NEVER catch up!

I have got so many shows in my Tivo list that I don't know how I'll ever get caught up! I've got 7 Oprahs, 5 Marthas, 6 Views, and an Ugly Betty. I am tellin' ya what.....
Yes, folks, I love television. I feel like a kid in a candy shop with the amount of shows I have to choose from.
Where did this obsession come from?
Here's my theory:
When we lived in Sweden, there were only 2 television channels. They were government owned so there were no commercials and few shows in English. I'm trying to recall all of the shows we got. I do know that we got Dallas. My Dad subscribed to Time and/or Newsweek magazine but they were always a few months behind.....mail service to Europe was VERY slow back in the day :). I do know that we got the "Who Shot JR?" issue at least a year (maybe more) before we ever got close to getting that episode on TV.
I think we also got Little House on the Prairie, but I don't remember as a definite. There had to have been more, but I'm so bogged down with my Tivo that I'm just not sure.
FAMILY: Chime in by posting a comment if you remember others!

Pre-Adolescent Girls

Hypothetically speaking.......
If a 10 year old girl already has an attitude, rolls her eyes at most anything that's said, snaps at her brother to shut up when she thinks the parent is out of sight, and is starting to perfect the "stomp out of the room" move, is there any chance it won't get worse and will end by age 11???
I'm jus' sayin'........

Tivo Helps!

I really wouldn't be able to keep up with television these days if it wasn't for Tivo. Mine can record 2 shows at the same time or record 1 while I watch another.......as long as it isn't on digital cable stations. Don't worry! I only have the digital for SoapNet, On Demand......that might be it, but I'm not sure. I'll look into that.
So, I can keep up with numerous reality TV shows. If I don't, then it will all be ruined for me because I will hear the results on the radio or online news the next day. Ruining the reality results is akin to disaster.
Here I sit, sipping a lovely Cabernet-Merlot called Hell Raiser, and checking out The Bachelor (already saw tonight's results), Dancing with the Stars (watching now), and The Biggest Loser(ready to watch in the next few minutes).
And, WOW!!!! I must tell you how much I love having my windows open this evening to capture the crispness of the air, the smell of the season..........and the wafting of the cigartettes from my most interesting neighbor who must smoke on her front porch, right next to my window. That's a story for another night!

My Shower Door

Just thought I’d share a story with y’all.
This morning when I finished my shower, I tried to slide my shower door open. It was stuck. This is not unusual as these are older doors in need of replacement at some point, but not urgently……….or so I thought. I tried again, tugging at the door to unstick it which caused it to come out of the track. There I was…naked, dripping wet, and holding my shower door in my hands. Lovely! I propped it against the wall, grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me, then shouted for Drew. He came in and helped me try to put the door back in but it couldn’t go because the other door was stuck part way in both tracks. Drew held my door so I could unstick the other one…..which also came out of the track. So, I’m in a towel, Drew is in his uniform and we are both holding doors. When attempting to put the door back in the track, the top frame detached from the wall and crashed to the floor. So, now both doors and the top track are resting against the wall in my bedroom. I must say, it’s opened up my shower nicely! Unfortunately, this is not a tub/shower. It is a tub-length walk-in shower so I can’t just hang a curtain.
HAPPY MONDAY!!!!!!!

Enter my insanity, if you please.....

I decided to create this blog because I have too many stories and weird things happen to me to keep them to myself. My guess is these things happen to everyone and I'm not really that unique in this world. I'm just one of the few who tells everyone that these wacky things happen to me. Does that mean the rest of the world doesn't let others in to their insanity? Well, I'm happy to share mine! So, Enter my insanity, if you please........