Hey, Big Spender!

The minute I walked in the joint....
I received a JCPenney's bill on my card under my previously married name. I haven't used that card in over 2 years. It was paid off and I really should have closed it, but I put it in my desk planning to shred it later which I failed to do.
The bill contained a dozen transactions at 3 different locations between 11/30/2007 & 12/16/2007 totalling $1,755.24. Since I had not used the card in over 2 years, I knew they were not my charges. The other telling point was that there were toddler purchases as well as men's shirts & neckwear. "Considering I no longer have toddlers and have rid myself of the men in my life, that was another strong indication that the charges were not mine", I explained to the voice on the other end of the phone at the JCPenney service dept. The explanation produced laughter which was what I needed in order not to scream, cry, throw things, or fall on the floor and throw a tantrum.
Anyway, they will gather the signatures, send them to me, and I will send them a copy of my driver's license to prove it was not me. Shouldn't be too hard considering my driver's license is a different name. The account has been cancelled.
THE FUNNIEST PART is that they spent so much, that I was automatically upgraded to platinum level and received my new card today which was sent out before I got the bill and made the call.

Hence, I am a woman of distinction, a real big spender!