Tough Day!

Last night before going to bed, I checked on Baby. I found her in the yard near the area from which I had to rescue her. Her head was turned and tucked into her shoulder, she was breathing steadily and having a peaceful night's sleep.
I've become used to heading into the backyard each morning to check on Baby, talk to her, and say hi to Momma before going to work. Things were a bit different on this day. I went on the deck and looked down in the backyard. I could see Baby laying on her side. My heart dropped right away!
I went down to Baby and could see that she was no longer alive. Why did my eyes water, my heart feel pain, and my body wanted to collapse. I wanted to lay down next to Baby and tell her how sorry that I was about not being able to save her. Her time spent under the deck was too long without food, very scary, a shock to the system, and she may have gotten scrapes, scratches, and bruises from trying to find her way out. Why didn't I realize that morning before going to work that she was trapped and needed my help? Should I have found worms to feed her once I did rescue her?
I know....enough of the "what ifs"! She was so amazing to see, and watch, and I'm grateful for that and how dedicated her mother was for taking care of her. I'm sad for the growth and experiences we missed with her. I'm said for her very loving Momma.
I miss Baby....I really do, and I feel ridiculous for crying. It was a sad day!