Is it me?
Am I responsible for the 40 lbs I gained?
Am I responsible for my divorce?
Am I responsible for turning 40?
Am I responsible for all of my poor choices?
AM I A SCREW-UP????
Yes, I'm responsible for a lot of this. It's my life, and I've screwed it up. Is it my fault that I haven't been to a dentist in 3 years and I have an appointment tomorrow for a deep cleaning due to my pre-periodontal "issues"? Tomorrow is my phase I, and the right side of my face will be numbed for this deep scaling.......and 2 weeks from now, will be the left side. WOW!
Bottom line, am I proud of my lack of action toward taking care of myself over the last year....dentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually? Yeah, that last one......I take full responsiblity for. I don't want God in my life right now because I'm afraid he'll see what a screw-up I am.
So, again, I ask you........Am I a screw-up? Has HE noticed? Will HE still help me if I ask?
Shame is never OK -- especially when dealing with Mental llness
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Well, I haven't blogged in a long time, but after three losses in three
weeks I wanted to share some strong feelings I have about shame and mental
illness....
10 years ago
2 comments:
My sweet sister, I'm so moved and amazed by your questions. You are truly beautiful. And of course I have the answers! Well, God has the answers. I love you!
I am SO glad that you have shared your blog with me, and as I've been reading some of your posts, I thought this one would be the best to comment on. I love the fact that you are asking these questions-- that means you're truly thinking about them and that's the first step to making any changes you might want to make, right? Oh boy, listen to me sounding all philosophical... I should temper this before I start sounding too 'bizarre.' :)
Thanks so much for your kind comment. I do remember meeting you a few months back- when C was still a newborn and H was a new-cranky-toddler. C's now 6 months old and H is... well, she's an old-cranky-toddler now at 2. :)
Definitely feel free to add me to your blog list-- I'd love to add you to mine as well! I'm putting you into my google reader right away!
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