They are out there....

There are so many of them. They're all over the place. Some are far, some are close by. They are floating all around me. Zipping by before I can really take a good look, then coming around again, they change...evolve. Some of them fizzle before they even have a chance. It doesn't mean they shouldn't exist, just not right now. Rebirth, regrowth, renewal....always being replenished.

They are out there, just waiting for me. Motivating, overwhelming, frightening, exciting.... they are my dreams, ideas, hopes. As long as I keep my eyes open, there is opportunity for me to see them, catch them.... even if they are only visible to me.

Well, it did something....

Ok, so my previous post was about "how to and what would" motivate me to do something about my weight. I thought maybe I would need to post a picture of myself in workout clothing for the world to see, post my weight, cry and say I want to do this just as they do on The Biggest Loser. I decided not to do that. Actually, I didn't really decide to do anything. But, I have tried something I've been thinking about for some time.

I've got a lot of shows on TV that I like. I Tivo them so I don't have to watch commercials or so that I can watch those that I would miss. I love Reality TV and catch almost all of those. I like the evening dramas, too: Brothers & Sisters, Housewives, Grey's, Private Practice...well, you get the idea. I like TV. I do multi-task when I watch TV. I'm usually doing something on the computer. But, there are times that I'm just piddling or playing around on the computer. I don't HAVE to be on the computer. So, I wondered what would happen if I put a condition on my shows. I can watch them from the recumbent bike. Not all of them, although I'd probably lose 50 lbs in 2 weeks :).

So, 4 times since my Tuesday blog, I watched a show from my bike. It was actually pretty easy. During one of the shows, I did 40 minutes. I don't think this would work as well while watching a soap opera, or Rachael Ray. Those are slow-paced. I have been doing it through shows like Castle, and the Forgotten....those can be intense, exciting, fast-paced, even a bit of ass-kicking being done. Now, THAT'S how to get pumped! So, rather than mindlessly watching TV, I am mindlessly riding my bike....while watching TV. Not so bad. A friend gave me a good tip and suggested that I not make a goal of "X" mins per day, but "X" mins per week. That way, I won't feel like a failure if I only do 15 minutes one day. I still did something toward my goal of 100 minutes per week.

THINKABOUT: Do I love it? Nope! Do I hate it? Not really. Can I do it? Well, I am right now. I'll take that for what it is and keep trying.

How did this happen?

How did I get so heavy? Well, I mean....I know how it happened.....so, maybe I should be asking myself why? And, why can't I get myself to stop? At least I have stopped gaining weight...it only took 3 years and 50 lbs. I've quit some bad habits, but added others which is how I got here.
"Two Roads diverged...." Robert Frost
Why didn't I take the other one? Well, I can't change what I did. But, I really should try to see if I can find my way back to that spot rather than just sitting on the large bottom that I have given myself.

So..............
I'm watching The Biggest Loser because I'm a Reality TV junkie. The big question was whether or not these folks would get up in front of the family, friends, and community with their shirts off, and bellies hanging out as they stepped on the scale and announced their starting weight.

What I really should do is challenge myself. I should post a picture of myself in shorts and a cropped workout tank along with my starting weight. Will that make me do anything about it? Is that motivating? Would people support me, or just kind of let it go because they don't want to embarrass me? I could even allow myself to watch my favorite TV only if I'm on my recumbent bike. I wouldn't have to go fast and furious.....just go, at this point!

Well....I'm going to think about this.....yanno.....weigh my options (OMG, I am funny!). I'll let you know what I come up with.

Whoa....That's not good....

Has this ever happend to you? Something doesn't happen the way you had planned? What do you do? You may agree that it's not good, but do you sit down and take it? Do you fight? Do you problem solve, re-evaluate what you are doing? Maybe try something new?
OR (view video)

OR
Do you just wait for someone else to take care of you and what may be going wrong? Are you paralyzed by what happened or by what may happen if you try to do anything? Are you unable to see beyond the unfortunate-ness in front of you?
I would recommend attempting to see other ways around an issue. Remain calm, be thoughtful, be strong...even faithful.
While I hope you enjoyed the video, don't be the dumbass on the escalator!
Seriously....Figure it out!!!!

A Magical Feel

A misty fog in the forest
Leaves crackling underfoot
The smell of wet pine needles
A stillness
A silence

A scent of vanilla
The warm glow of fire
Reflections on the wall
Peace
Serenity

A puppy across my lap
The sigh of a snuggle
Another puppy against my side
Sweetness
Love

The Ineffective Middle Finger

There are ways to be effective and ways to be ineffective. I'm guessing that most people have the goal of being effective. Only a dumbass would strive for ineffectiveness. Well, I met one such dumbass last week. Here is the story of our encounter......
I left work and took the exit for 95 south. I go only one exit until I take the route that travels east to take me home. A car behind me headed down the ramp to 95 south, at close range. Rather than go around me, he remained closely behind me in the right lane. We both took the exit to head east. Upon merging onto the eastern route we both wanted to move to the left lane as there was slower moving traffic in the right. Here is where the fun began.
As I was in front of the tailgater on the southern route, on the ramp to the eastern route, as we merged onto the eastern route, I was still in front of him as we moved into the left lane. Apparently, this was not pleasing to him and caused anger. He shoved his hand very far forward in the front window and raised his middle finger. This was effective. It revealed that he was angry and didn't like me. It was even effective in that it elicited a raised middle finger from me in return. Because there was a line of cars to the right, he couldn't go around me which may have led to more frustration.
Having exchanged middle fingers following proper protocol, I believed our encounter was over. However, being the good driver that I am, I followed the 3-second rule and looked in my rearview mirror. It was at this time that I noticed the angry man driving with both hands on the wheel with the middle finger still extended. My thought was "whatever". However, the finger continued to be extended as I drove on. In fact, this continued for the entire eastern route of 13.8 miles. 13.8 miles?!?!? Wow.....that is one angry person.
Funny thing is that after about mile 2.4, it was losing its effectiveness. It became funny, but was also no longer the most noticeable thing on the road. Just as a hood ornament can be seen as you glance in the rearview mirror, the finger remained in place. This person's anger with me caused him to lose his control of the situation. Eventually, it turned around and my behavior controlled his action........ for 13.8 miles.
Now, that's ineffective.....but it was really funny!

An Ode to Panties

I dream of panties
pretty, lacy, and small;
Not the ones that look like my Granny's
I don't like those at all.

But, I pluck and pull
to make them fit right;
Now, I'm starting to mull,
"Is it really worth the fight?"

I want something that won't roll down,
maybe something that won't pinch;
Not bloomers that belong to a clown,
why can't it just be a cinch?

So, I pull out the briefs
cotton, white, and boring;
Oh my Goodness Grief!
How will I ever be alluring?