I know "Life isn't fair", but.....really? C'mon!!!!

Every November the landscapers in our community will suck up the leaves if we rake them, blow them (the leaves, not the landscapers), or pick them up one by one and put them into the common areas.
Well, I have one Japenese Maple in my backyard. My neighbors have a huge, honkin' regular maple in the backyard which dumps all of its leaves and fargin' gumballs into MY backyard. So, how come I just spent 1.5 hours raking out my backyard (and still have 1/4 of it left to go), and my fargin' neighbor spent 20 minutes and brought out 3 wheelbarrows full. Are you FARGIN' KIDDING ME???? 3 WHEELBARROWS. You may think I'm exaggerating, but really....I'm not!!! I took a picture of my piles, and his little clump of leaves, but I can't find the transfer cord. I'll post them as soon as I find the cord.
I am a 40 year old, 50 lb overweight, single woman with high-blood pressure, asthma, and allergies to the trees from which those leaves came. I have 2 kids, a full-time job, and I go to school. My neighbor is in his 50's, athletic, in great shape, married, no kids, retired military...retired, not working.....
Yanno, 80% of the leaves in my backyard and 100% of the gumballs come from his fargin' tree!!!! But, I sure am glad that he got his 3 wheelbarrows full outta his yard.....And, DON'T EVEN get me started on the front yard!!!

Fall sucks!

Okay. Here are the pics. Guess which one is mine?

Tools for Teaching

I use television as a teaching tool with my children. Particularly shows such as Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, and Boston Legal. I do this mostly with my 14 year old son, and explain that they often go for the extremes and dramatization for ratings. But, I can’t even tell you how many conversations have been generated this way.

I was blown away by my son’s insights this week which relate to my sister’s blog: thefairfax.blogspot.com and the response he had to a VERY similar thought process.

Drew’s school has been studying The Holocaust. An Auschwitz Survivor visited his school this week and spoke with them. He said that half of the football team was crying over the loss of this man’s family, the numbers tattooed on his arm, and the impact of him witnessing his sister’s death and the shooting of others. TRAGIC! I cried as he spoke about it! His eyes were red-rimmed as he was telling me.

Boston Legal had an abortion storyline this week. Drew and I discussed the issues and reasons for abortion. I explained that I don’t believe it should be used as a method of birth control and that if one has unprotected sex, abortion should not be the backup to condoms or other birth control methods. He understood and was thoughtful of that. Then it moved into “in cases of rape”. And, I brought up the issue of “medical cases” and “genetic testing”. When I related this to his sister with Cystic Fibrosis, the conversation floored me.

What if we had known before Ginny was born that this fetus had Cystic Fibrosis and was an expensive, time-consuming, emotionally draining disease and that we should consider aborting for medical reasons….
Drew’s response was “That’s just like the Nazis”. WHOA!!!! WOW!!! This 14-year old boy has been so stricken by the discrimination which was carried out against a group of people in a “long-ago” generation that he has applied it to his own life and is seeing it from his perspective in HIS generation. WOW…..

What a thought-provoking young man! Did I raise him? Did he really come from me? How amazing of an intelligent, sensitive young man! God, please, please keep his insight and sensitivity intact as he grows into a man.

Lane 4 is No More

And, this makes me sad......

Our cabin on the lake in Idaho has had the address of Lane 4 since I was born.....Hell...since before my Father was born. This lake has been an integral part of the Smetheram Family history since at least the 1920s. And, that cabin has always been on Lane 4.

To conform to modern times, the county decided we needed to change the name (I think it was for the purposes of emergency services, but I chalk it up to the government nosing in). We submitted names which had to do with Moose......moose have now become an integral part of Lane 4, so we thought that would be a great match.

Alas, the county shot down our moose....names, that is. Apparently, there are too many Moose-type names in existence in Kootenai County. I had some really great suggestions:
Evil Squirrel Lane - in honor of the squirrel which tortured my sister this past summer
Twin Moose Lane
Moose Lane.....but my Dad knew those wouldn't be accepted by the county. He proposed to honor the Quail which run around from the empty lot next to us, to the empty lot across the street. So, now it will be known as Covey Lane.

It sounds so trendy. How can I make fun of Lane 4, and the quaintness that is Idaho with the name Covey Lane? How sad that we are not able to honor the Moose of Twin Lakes!

At least The Lightning Bar is still there! Please do not take that away from our Idaho repertoire....

Here's to you, Lane 4! Cheers to you, Lane 4! Regardless of the Covey, you will always be 4th in my heart!

My mantra will get me through...

I'm going to London. I'm going to London.

Whatever else is going wrong, or stressing me out, or concerning me...

I'm going to London. I'm going to London.

Regardless of my finances, and the stress therein.....

I'm going to London. I'm going to London.

Even if I have to bend over and take it for the next 4 years as I'm over-taxed and have to charge my groceries to my credit card on a more frequent basis....

I'm going to London. I'm going to London.

Even if my "wealth" is being shared to help those less fortunate, and I may have to work at McDonald's in order to afford living.....

I'm going to London. I'm going to London.

Philosophical Question: If you tax anyone who makes over $42k to spread the wealth to those who don't, how close is that to socialism?

OK. Don't go political Ape-shit on me! This is my angst-filled opinion, who agrees that there needs to be change. I just don't think it needs to be so drastic, and that action plans need to be formulated, and agreed upon before jumping into things.

BESIDES, this is my blog and I'll whine if I want to!

I LOVE my horoscope!

NO...I am not an astrological guru or freak.... my horoscope is on my Yahoo page, so I see it every day when I open up the internet. Check out today's!

November 03, 2008
Gemini (5/21-6/21)

Unless it's the big boss dictating a firm rule, you don't have to obey anyone except yourself, today. If people are trying to put restrictions on what you can do, work your way around them! You are the one in control of your life, and it's the right time to remind yourself of this face. Point your ship wherever you want it to go, and start off on your journey. Just fulfill your own goals right now -- worry about following all the rules later.

HYSTERICAL!!!! That's pretty much me on a daily basis :).
So, I forwarded this to my supervisor and gave her a heads up in case she saw my ship pointing toward the Bahamas!

CF Appointment - 10/29/08

Good stuff at today's CF appointment. I'll provide stats, then some awesome research news...as close as ever to a cure!

Height: 54.7 - up 1.3 in.
Height %: 10% - up 1%
Weight: 76 lbs. up 3.75 lbs.
Weight %: 22% - up 1%
BMI: 17.83
BMI %: 49% - GOAL = 50%.......last visit 52%..... The kid grows which is what they want, AND gains over 3 lbs, but her height didn't go up as much as her weight.....Go Figure! Time to get out the stretching machine again :).
PFTs (breathing test) = 108...decrease of 7 from last appt., but still excellent!
Last throat culture showed light pseudamonas. OK. We are doing the TOBI every other month, so we are doing what we can for now. If it were to drop massively, then we worry (some of the other PFT stats indicate this could be margin of error).

RESEARCH NEWS:
Dr. Z was on rounds today. She heads up numerous research projects and reports out to the medical community and the local parent community on this at least yearly.

I asked if there was any research down the road for a DeltaF508 & R1162X person (Ginny's "mutations", as they like to call them!). She told us there had recently been a very promising research on the GG-something group. We all have CFTR channels which just happen to be blocked in folks with CF. Different genotypes lead to different manifestations.

So, this recent research caused the CFTR channels of the GG? group to act as the CFTR channels of "normal....non-mutant" people. WOW!!!! Basically, a cure of the issue, but not a way to be off of medicine and breathing treatments.

There is a research study of the same type coming for those that have the "x" codon. Lucky us!!!!!! She may be eligible to particpate, but she may also be too healthy to participate. Regardless, let's get this medication on the shelf so Ginny's CFTR channels function properly while she has no lung scarring and issues!!!!

I'm tired now.....

Repairs Needed

So many things broken, so little time....

My dryer isn't drying;

My freezer isn't sealing;

My heat pump doesn't turn on.

Then........ there's me!

I have the flu...

Fever;

Chills;
Aches;

Exhaustion;

Raw throat.

I've got space heaters running, my freezer is held closed with duct tape, and I've got laundry all over the place. It hurts when I move, and it's hard to stay awake for too long.

Where's MY Fairy Godmother???!!???

To Buy or Not To Buy

So, I've kinda got the "wansties" right now.

I live in a townhouse. It's a great layout, good size, deck, good neighbors, and is in a community that is over 30 years old.....this means there are large trees and the homes were actually built with space so I'm not staring into my neighbor's house as they are eating dinner or getting dressed.....this, I find to be a bonus.

HOWEVER........I want a house. I want a house with no one attached to my walls (my neighbors aren't loud). I want a garage cuz I'm sick of scraping ice off my car in the winter, defogging during the fall & spring, boiling in the summer (although, there is the tree coverage which keeps my car from getting too hot).

BUT.......Do I really need a house? That would mean a yard to mow. My son is in 9th grade and enjoys pointing out to me that he will be going to college in 4 years and won't be home (he will be home during vacations, he just doesn't realize that yet).

YET.......He does bring about a good point. Most people downsize as their children leave the nest. I would be upsizing for what? for for who?

So, I ask you: Do I really need a house?

Really good stuff!

Yesterday, I was in an all-day face-to-face kickoff for an online course. I'm the support person for the instructor. I was posting some of her suggestions online as she spoke to the group, posted her resources in our online communities. I was helping the students with best technology practices and getting them enrolled into the course online. I had a really great time interatcting with the students, being there for the instructor and playing around with the technology.

As soon as that group cleared out, it was time for me to prepare for my team's presentation in my graduate certificate class. I was focused on Behaviorism.....which I LOVE!!!!...It was all about Pavlov's dogs & Skinner's rats....Thank you, DR. RAY!!!!

All of this was so great, so exciting, and exactly what I want to be doing.

So, why was I so homesick!I just wanted to sit in my parents' family room while they puttered around and I geeked around online. I didn't need anyone to take care of me, feed me, or anything. I just wanted them around.

I would do ANYTHING to help my Dad!

In recent years, I have taken vacation days from work and have gone to Florida to:
-help my Dad set up new computers and transfer files
-been his HelpDesk when there have been technical difficulties (mainly user error)
-spent a week helping him get around and do his physical therapy after knee replacement

He has recently made another request of me. Though I am tired, taking on more work responsibilities, back in school, and want to save vacation days, I just don't think I can deny him this request. He called me the other day, and in order to maintain his platinum level status in his travel club, he must go to London......England, that is. He would like me to go with him.

*SIGH*

Once again, I will sacrifice for my father the way my parents sacrificed for me.

IALAC

"I Am Lovable And Capable" - IALAC
Frequently, this acronym makes me want to hurl. However, I'm making attempts to be more positive these days. Examples of being positive:

* I positively want to stop saying "asshat" after speaking to certain people on the phone.

* I positively want to stop saying that "Exercise SUCKS!"

* I positively want to love the price of Gas, but that one is out of my control!!!

Maybe I should start a positive thoughts of the week thread, or at least thoughts, or at least consider having a list of positives for the week...........maybe for the month.

I'm positive that is a good idea :).

How much do I LOVE......

**that I regularly have trouble finding my cell phone in my purse.

**that I drive past my Ex & his new wife going to or from work on an almost daily basis.

**that I look in the mirror and am surprised to find that I'm not cute anymore, just older and fatter.

**that my children are not in my presence every single day of my life.

**that others are "bringing sexy back", yet I brought it out back and beat the shit out of it.

**that a review of my "lack of love" life brings me to the revelation that I obsessed over one guy (NO...not my ex-husband) for the last few years and allowed myself to be hurt when it proved to be nothing.

**that I don't have porch furniture and can't sit out on my back deck and enjoy the change in the weather.

OMG Life has changed

1/2 tank of gas.......that's IT!!!! In one week!!!

I used to fill my gas tank twice a week when I was driving the kids 12 miles south of my house to school, then drive back by my house and go another 23 miles to work. Now, the kids walk and/or take the bus to their schools.

My son came home yesterday and told me that he loves his new school, and really likes having different people in his classes. He's finding his way around, and all's good.

My girlie is doing great, making new friends, be-bopping around. She told me last night that there is a dance coming up in October.....ACK!

Life is good. Sometimes, it's the simple things that make a difference.

The moose, the fish

Quick Idaho update:

No fish. When I told Ginny I couldn't catch any of the stupid fish, she said that might actually make them smart.

I only saw moose clumping through a meadow as I was driving across Route 90 between Montana & Idaho. They were too far to see very well, and they were on the opposite side of the road so I didn't get to stop and take pictures.

100 degree days to start the trip, big storm came through with 2 days of rain, temps dropped to 70. Wild weather patterns!

The vacation was amazing! Ginny had a blast with her cousin Amanda. They are the same age, going into the same grade, and can talk on the phone for hours. They are sisters at heart! I spent 10 days in Idaho. Prior to the trip, I was worried and thought to myself.....What am I going to do in IDAHO for 10 days???? I'm always worried I'll be bored. I read 3 books, fished a bit, hung out with family, went out for great dinners, and woke up to the most beautiful view every day.....even in the rain.

Pictures above: View from the deck, Drew at The Smetheram Wheel

Pictures below: Idaho on foot :)

I've discovered something...

You can't drive down the highway at 40 miles per hour and switch to reverse.

No, I did not learn this in the car, that is a metaphor. I learned this through experience with my weight. Last year, after some personal heartbreak, family stress, and other external problems, I had a medical issue. It's called THE CREEPS! I had the creeps, my weight was creeping, creeping, and creeping up. I gained 40 lbs over the last year. The Creeps really suck!!!

You can't go from steadily gaining weight to reverse and losing it at the same pace. One must first stop, get into neutral, then you can move into reverse and slowly back up. I started on Jenny Craig in March. Since then, I've not even lost a full 10 lbs. I have been frustrated, annoyed, and really angry with myself for not steadily losing 1 - 2 lbs. per week.

Guess what??!!?? I need to slow down, stop, get into neutral, then....and ONLY then, will I be able to go into reverse.

So, now I will be grateful for the 8 lbs. I've lost and the fact that I'm no longer heading down that highway at the maximum speed. I need to get comfortable with where I am so that I can switch comfortably into reverse. THAT IS MY NEW PLAN!

I am working on taking out some of the bad (fast food), and adding the good (Jenny Craig & salads). I've been increasing my fruit, and found a great salad bar near my work that isn't too expensive.

Here are some of the good & bad coming up:
When the kids are with me, I will have to get up at 5:00am to get Drew to the bus stop. That will suck! However, I will have a chance to get on the recumbent bike and/or balance ball with weights during that early morning time before I take my shower and get Ginny up to leave with her.
I start classes on Tuesday nights and will need to avoid the fast food for dinner in between work & class.

Happy I go with my stop & neutral positions until I'm ready to hit reverse. Good luck to me!

Please God.....Oh, Please...

Please let me see a moose on my vacation. This I pray to you, my Lord.

For the last 3 years in a row, I have seen moose while vacationing in Idaho. The first year, we went out searching for them. Our neighbor drove us up a logging road, and there along the side of the road, was a bull and a cow. The bull's face was so big! And we were so close to them.

Year 2, the moose came to us. My father and I were out in our little boat (rowboat with outboard motor) fishing (we left at approx. 6:00am). We'd had a rough morning with a slight wind, and no luck catching anything. Another boat (same type) was coming toward us. The guy yelled "There's 2 cows to your port." Now, when I hear cows, I think.....cows....as in ....Moo!" Not in Idaho. That means female moose. Sure enough, we look to our left and there were 2 moose swimming in the lake. They were maybe 5 car lengths from us, we could hear them grunting. We were close to the mountain side of the lake, and they headed over to the shore and disappeared into the mountain forest.

Last year, we saw a couple of moose. The first one was swimming across the lake. She got out near some houses farther down from us. I ran to the road (Lane 4), to see if I could meet her on the path. Alas, that did not happen (maybe for the best since they are HUGE!!!). The final moose was seen amongst the lily pads. He was shoulder deep, munching, eating his lunch. We were in my cousin's motor boat, there was another boat, and a jet ski hanging around watching him eat. In the picture below, the moose is in between my 2 kids eating his lunch.

So, God, if you are so inclined, I would be very happy if you would send a moose my way while I'm in Idaho. For some reason, Lord, this very large, odd-looking creature brings me much joy, excitement, and even peace. (Not to mention the fact that all my sister saw when she was out there were Quail.....hehehehe).

Fun In Florida

So, you've seen some of the pictures of the fun we've been having. Now, let me tell you about some of the other happenings.

Drew was going to spend the week in Tennis Camp at Heathrow Country Club. He had a couple of 1:1 lessons before the week started. He was invited to attend the Advanced Tennis Class instead of the regular camp. He's being worked so hard, he's come home exhausted each day, but has really learned a lot.

Ginny has turned into a mermaid. She swims non-stop, and has been loving it. She and Mimi have gotten to spend some time together. They went to see the American Girl Movie, shopping for books at Target. She picked out a book called "If I have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?" Wow.....don't know what to say.....didn't know she was that interested in finding her Prince....

Me, I've had a cold and have been doing a lot of snarking, sneezing, and coughing. Oh well! At home in Maryland with a cold, or in the sunshine, by the pool in Florida with a cold??? I'll take it!!!!

Fairy Godmother, Pics

So much to blog about, and will do so later. I want to get the pictures up from our visit to the Fairy Godmother. It was so amazing and I started crying the second she came out the door, the crying hit another level when she started singing.
Our evening at Cinderella's Royal Table was AMAZING:
THE CASTLE:



Ginny was the Queen of the Castle and ran around taking pictures, laughing and loving it all. We got to take pictures with Cinderella before we were taken up to the dining room....
THE DINING ROOM:
The room was beautiful. A rounded room overlooking the Carousel, rich colors, chandeliers. But even better than the Dining Room was the show....
THE SHOW:
And, here's where the tears flowed. The Fairy Godmother touched my shoulder each time she passed, and my dreams really did come true that night.

The Fairy Godmother

Here we are, back in Orlando at my parents' house.
Tomorrow, we will go to the Magic Kingdom. After hanging around the park, we will attend a wonderful show at Cinderella's Castle. The kids will get their picture taken with Cinderella, but to us, there is only 1 star of the show........!

The Fairy Godmother! When speaking with her, be it in person or over the phone, there is an immediate sense of wonder and amazement! She can give you hope just by saying that she is there for you, as the Fairy Godmother. Not only is she the Fairy Godmother, she is my sister!

And, your sister does ...what??... for a living???

What gives you the creeps?

So, let's think about this for a moment....
I get creeped out by:
spider-cricket things that we call "hoppers"
dead animals in my chimney
live animals in my house.... bats & squirrels
people that I don't want to have anything to do with showing up at my door...
nail fungus
pimples on the ass of humanity.....

But, how we handle what creeps us out is what really matters. Do we vomit, curl up in the fetal position, scream, cry? We may do all of the above or a combination, thereof. But, hopefully, we get through it and handle it.

Regardless of how skeeved out we may be, we push through. We allow ourselves the time to have the fetal-curling, screaming, vomitrotious moments. Then.....we move on....we persevere, and show what we are made of.

How skeeved out are you right now, and how do you handle it?

Not exactly swimming with the dolphins....

We arrived in Orlando on Sunday after visiting a most exciting place to eat. It's an old Sugar Mill at DeLeon Springs State Park http://www.planetdeland.com/sugarmill/sugarpage2.htm. The tables have a griddle in the middle and you can make your own pancakes...and eggs. They bring out 2 different kinds of batter, stone ground and all purpose flour. You order toppings as desired. We ordered bananas, blueberries, and chocolate chips. It was a fun thing to do with the family!!!!

Drew has spent the week at tennis camp at Heathrow Country Club where my Dad is a member. He's been the man to beat this week and I'm sure that's been great for his ego! He's sooooooo tan, and looks really great as he builds his muscle and "hot guy" status.

Ginny and I have been hanging out by the pool, swimming, reading, relaxing. I did get a manicure/pedicure.......ya like?????

What? What is that you say? It looks like a lizard on my hand? Well, yes....yes, it is. There are many, many lizards around my parents house. The baby ones are very cute and much fun to swim with. We named this one Maddie. We've caught her a couple of days in a row to take swimming with us. She seems to be responding to her name now.

CF Appt - June 2008

Well, we had another CF appointment today, as we do every 3 months. It's physically and emotionally draining even when it goes well. We were there for over 3 hours today, which led to the 3 hour nap I took upon arriving home. That will lead to me being up much of this evening......bad cycle to get in :).
The reason it was 3+ hours today vs. the regular 2+ hours, was due to the fact that it was her bloodwork and x-ray appointment. Bloodwork is once a year, x-rays are every other year.
Here's the update:
Height = 53.4 inches = 9th percentile (can't imagine why she's short!!!)
Weight = 72.25 inches = 21st percentile
BMI = 17.73
And here's the big info about this one. They've wanted her to be at the 50th percentile for BMI for a long time. Today, we hit that goal!!!!!!!
BMI PERCENTILE = 52% YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!
PFTs= 115%
PFT means Pulmonary Function Test. While a 115% lung function sounds good, she was at 134 last July. She went down over the last 2 appointments to a low of 101% at her March appointment. So, she is up almost 15%!!!! That's great news!!! Now, we just need to stay on top of her nebs (Pulmozyme, Saline, TOBI) and her chest PT to get that number back up to her norm of over 130%.

Once Ginny went on the "hungry pill" (as we call it since the name is something I can't remember), she jumped from a BMI in the 29th percentile to the 46th. How great was that!!!!!

CONGRATS GINNY!!!! You are an amazing young lady!

Trump my birthday, would ya????

Leave it to my sister to trump my birthday!!!! I might as well have my party in the car in a mall parking lot......or in London, riding a London Taxi, or driving between Copenhagen and Brussels.....What a crock my birthdays are!!!!! (umm......that was sarcasm.....how many of YOU got to spend your friggin' birthdays in Europe......Me, I got 4!)

My sister, the Christian Author…..is FINALLY publishing her bible study. She’s wanted to do this Summer Bible Study for years, and has recently gotten her motivation to take it from paper (I mean, handwritten) to online. She’s posted it on her blog: http://www.thefairfax.blogspot.com/
Please share it with anyone you think may be interested! She’s so thought-provoking and interesting as an author, not to mention supportive, loving, annoying, and honest as a sister. Her evaluation of others’ questions has always been honest, open and great material to work with.
I hope you and others enjoy her work. I know I will!

I didn't implode!?!!!

And, there was no pain.......
So, turning 40 wasn't that bad after all.

What is this....the Book of the Face?

Facebook? MySpace? SecondLife?
Fer sure!
So, I set up an account on facebook as I prep for some of my online coursework. I'm hitting SecondLife next, but didn't have the "oomph" to do it this evening.
WHOA!!! Let me tell ya!!! I found peeps on facebook that I've been curious about over the years.
Here's what I found:
My nfrfvbf
A couple of exes
Stage fiance
College friends
Sibling of an ex that I didn't have the chutzpah to contact (although I'm dying to know about the ex)
High School memories............I won't embarrass them with what I remember :) hehehehehe
And a HOT GUY from high school that wouldn't remember me and I'd never contact :)

Wow! Rather interesting social experiment this "Book of the Face". How do different generations handle being thrown into cyber-contact whether they want to or not? Seems it can't be avoided these days unless you disconnect.....and, who wants that???? Well, not me since that's what led to my divorce :).

He's gone and done it now!!!!!

My baby....my sweet baby.....he went and graduated from 8th grade......from the school he's been attending since kindergarten!!! I can't believe he's growing up.
He's so smart, so cool, so quick. He's strong and is doing such a great job working on asserting himself.
He will go to high school in the fall. HIGH SCHOOL!!!!! That's so crazy! I feel so guilty for sending him to public school, but a public high school??? What kind of horrible parent am I? But, it's a really great school.....one of the 3 in the county that I would trust. South River High School is big and will be a culture shock. I think he can handle it, but can I??? We shall see.

Congratulations to my graduate!!!!!!!
(pics coming soon)

Whoa! Seriously??

I'm turning 40 in 8 days????? Are you kidding me? I mean, my thirties sucked, but am I really ready for my 40s?? Crap-Dog!!!! I'm not really a grown up yet.
I have a grown up job.
My children are growing up, one is going to High School....really? That's nuts!
I own a home, and have for the last 5 years.
I've got a retirement fund building.
I'm going back to school in the fall for a graduate certificate.
I've got plans for my future.
What the hell???? This can't be possible because all of those things indicate that I may be an adult. And, THAT....is insane!!!!!

Once again, welcome to my insanity!

Support Ginny's Genes!!!!!

We are getting down to the final days before the Great Strides walk for CF. There are only 9 days left, so please go to the website. Donating is as easy as clicking a button online or writing a check to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation with Ginny’s Genes in the memo section. Forward the link to other friends and family who may be interested in reading about Ginny and helping us out toward our goal for the big day:
http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/HelenSmetheram
Anyone who wants to join us at the Navy Stadium in Annapolis on June 7th, just let me know. There are so many great activities and food for all to enjoy on that day.
Ginny is very excited about this and the it should be so much fun! I want to make this a really fun event for her! We can't wait to join in our first Great Strides walk and get more involved with the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.
Thanks!
Helen

Who's responsible?

Is it me?
Am I responsible for the 40 lbs I gained?
Am I responsible for my divorce?
Am I responsible for turning 40?
Am I responsible for all of my poor choices?
AM I A SCREW-UP????

Yes, I'm responsible for a lot of this. It's my life, and I've screwed it up. Is it my fault that I haven't been to a dentist in 3 years and I have an appointment tomorrow for a deep cleaning due to my pre-periodontal "issues"? Tomorrow is my phase I, and the right side of my face will be numbed for this deep scaling.......and 2 weeks from now, will be the left side. WOW!

Bottom line, am I proud of my lack of action toward taking care of myself over the last year....dentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually? Yeah, that last one......I take full responsiblity for. I don't want God in my life right now because I'm afraid he'll see what a screw-up I am.

So, again, I ask you........Am I a screw-up? Has HE noticed? Will HE still help me if I ask?

Swim with the Dolphins - Part 2 & 3

So, after riding the dolphins' noses across the pool, we snorkled around the cove with them. I don't have pictures of that, but it was a weird experience. I am not proficient with the snorkel. It made me gag and feel suffocated so I wasn't able to swim face down for more than a minute or two at a time.

The third part was interacting with the dolphins. We learned a lot of information from the trainers as we touched them while they swam by. We avoided the blow hole when they swam by, and learned where on their bellies to touch and where not to touch as they rolled over. Note: Avoid the genitals....always good advice.

It all culminated with hugs and kisses. Julian was the kissing dolphin seen in the pictures below. The hugging dolphin was a female whose name escapes me at this time.....I'm sure Ginny will remember.

Swim with the Dolphins - Part 1

We signed up to swim with the dolphins while we were in the Bahamas. The experience was divided into 3 sections. For all sections, we wore a wetsuit, and had mask & snorkel gear on hand.

First, we were pushed across the cove by dolphins. We had a kickboard which we rested our upper body on. At the trainer's command, 2 dolphins came up quickly behind us and connected their noses with our feet, and propelled us across the cove!!!! WOW!!!! It was fast, the noses were harder than I thought. I struggled to aim myself, Ginny screamed with glee the whole way across, and Drew was cooler than cool!!!!

Bahamas Time

Okay, Let's cheer it up a bit....it's time for the Bahamas!

We arrived on Tuesday evening. It was windy, but sunny, and perfectly palm-treed. Ginny and I went exploring while Drew fell asleep.
There were tons of pools of lovely sea life. Most with underground walkways, tunnels, and viewing areas. We saw some really cool stuff!

On Wednesday, we woke up and headed for the wave pools, slides, tube rides, and amazing fun around the Atlantis resort. The kids went on a ride called "The Leap of Faith". This is a slide which drops straight down into a tunnel which goes through a pool of sharks!!!! See the picture? That's Ginny on the slide......... Drew went too fast!!!! That ride was at the Mayan Temple which also had a tube ride which went into a tunnel in a shark tank. I tried that one because I'm not much for leaping!!!

More Bahama fun to come!

I was a Bride

17 years ago today, I was a bride.
Now, I am a single mother of 2 kids. I'm alone in my house, there are thunderstorms outside. I've been on a crying jag all weekend and couldn't figure out why. Then, I looked at today's date.
No one called me, no one acknowledged the day....but, there is no reason to. It's irrelevant that 17 years ago, I was in a wedding dress, my sister was a Maid of Honor, my brother was in a suit, my mother wore Oleg Cassini, and my father looked stunning in his dress uniform. No one cares, no one remembers, but it was supposed to be "the happiest day of my life".
Note to Brides: Pick a different day to label the happiest. It is, after all, just a day.

Absentee Blogger

Yes, I've been an Absentee Blogger. But, here's the quick and dirty version of some of the things I said I'd talk about:

The Gala - went to a most wonderful event for my nephew, Henry. It was a fund-raising gala for his school. There was a silent auction, raffle, and beautiful video/slide show presentation of all of the students at his school. Henry began the video sitting behind the Principal's desk with his glasses on (he doesn't need glasses, but has decided they are now a part of his character). If this video becomes public or I can get a hold of it, then I will post it here. He was amazing! He had a scripted part which was delivered with meaning and feeling. Then, there was his ad-libbing which brought the house down. Check out Alice's blog about the gala: http://thefairfax.blogspot.com/2008/03/weekend-to-remember.html

The Recovery - Drew's Kidney healed and his visit to the doctor after returning from Florida showed almost no blood in the urine. Hallelujah!

The Appointment - Ginny had her CF appointment. Her weight gain was, once again, beyond expectations. The "hungry pill" really made the difference in our lives and has taken her out of the "hmmm....she may need a permanent feeding tube" status.
Bad news is that her PFTs (Pulmonary Function Tests) have decreased from the 130% range to the 100 % range. Still very good, but significantly lower than her norm. She had a cold which contributed to the lower numbers. But, that is no excuse and we need to ramp it up a notch.
Good news is that we had a wonderful visit with one of the physical therapists who connected with her regarding the ability to "cough up stuff". Ginny calls it "Gunk-a-loogey" and has, generally, been disgusted when it comes up. We need her to embrace and be proud of her gunk-a-loogey. Since this visit, she has been much more productive with her cough.....I've never seen so much mucus, but I'm a proud Mama.

The Birthday Party - Ginny had the most fun & amazing birthday party. We had a room in the back of Ledo Pizza in Crofton. There was pizza, chicken tenders, mozzarella sticks and amazing entertainment. We had 2 dance mats plugged into the PlayStation2 which was hooked up to the flat screen on the wall. The karaoke machine with her iPod & TV were across the room, and we had a station for sand art. The girls sang, danced, ate, and made tropical fish & dolphin sand art keychains. My parents and brother were there, and Ward's Mother and sister + kids were there. A great time was had by all!!!!

Next up: Bahamas & Drew's Birthday Party

The Funeral

The funeral for George was a beautiful tribute to his strength for his family and theirs for him. It was a true celebration of his life and honor to his family.
My former Mother-in-Law was escorted in by her 2 younger sons, her daughter was led in by her 2 children, then there was my ex. He was escorted in by our daughter and his fiancee was escorted in by my son (I do not blame my son for that set up as he was not aware that is how the procession would run since it just happened when they walked down the aisle).

There was a wonderful song by one of George's former nurses, and the readings were strong and relevant, but the Homily brought it all home.

A week after the funeral, my children and I were visiting their Godfather. He had known the family for close to 20 years. While Drew & I were standing together, their Godfather asked how the family held up during the service. I told him they did a wonderful job, it had been a long time coming and they were prepared for this event. When I noted that the only person on the "family row" that had cried was my ex's fiancee, he was surprised. He said, "She was the only one who visibly cried?"
My son responded, "Yeah, for the whole YEAR that she knew him"............
Yes, this is what I was thinking, his Godfather was thinking, but Drew was the one who expressed that thought
I've never been more proud of my boy!

God Bless George and his very strong and supportive grandson!

Travelling can be tough!

No matter the circumstances, getting to the airport, checking luggage, going through security, all of it can be tedious and nerve-wracking for those who do not like flying anyway. This can either be made easier or exacerbated by those with whom you are travelling.
You get to decide which scenario this is:

To get to my former father-in-law's funeral, I would need to fly down to northern Florida. My ex made flight arrangements for our children and his fiancee. He forwarded the flight information to me so that I could fly down with my children. His fiancee, who keeps wanting to play house with my children, called me earlier in the week to tell me she had bought clothing for them for the funeral and that she would pack their bags and pack Ginny's medicine. (Normally, I would be bothered by her continued efforts to take over my role. She is constantly wanting to pick them up from school or keep them overnight when my ex is unavailable. Considering the custody agreement is between me & him, not me & him+her, I have told him that I need to be the next person in line to be with our children when he is unable to be there for them.....Excuse me for wanting to spend all the time that I can with my children....). Sorry, I digress.....However, in this case, my thought was "You want to pack for the kids? pack their medicine?........go ahead! It's one less thing I have to do.....can ya come pack my crap, too?"

On to the travel!!!

I arrive at the airport and the fiancee has checked the kids in with her so they were in a higher number bracket than me due to their business select tickets. I asked the kids to make sure they saved a seat for me. When I boarded the plane, she was in 1 row, and the kids were in a row behind her with an empty seat between them, saved for me. Now, this happened to be the row before the emergency exit over the wing so the seats didn't recline........passive aggressive or coincidence? Don't know! Because the 3 tickets were business select, they each got drink tickets. Since the kids weren't drinking, the fiancee gave one to me. NICE! Score a point on the good side for the fiancee.

Once the flight ended, the next phase of the journey took place. My ex came to the airport to pick up his ex-wife (me), 2 kids, and fiancee. We all loaded into 1 car for the one hour drive to the hotel at which my parents were staying and where me and the kids would also spend the night.

Well, wasn't that a fun trip! Each of us has our own opinions of how weird that was, and who had it worst. However, since this is my blog...........It's All About Me!!! And, why are my problems so much bigger than everyone else's????? DUHHHHH!!!!! Because they are MINE!

The Kidney

OK, so the kids' grandfather died on Sunday, March 2nd. That was a tough night and I sent the kids into school the next day so they could be with their friends and continue with their routine. Was this a good idea? YES. Was it successful? Well..........
Not necessarily.
On Monday, March 3rd, Drew was playing on the playground during a class which had a substitute. He climbed a waist-high ladder and reached for the higher monkey bars. He missed the upper bars, slipped, and landed on the lower ladder bar, then flipped over it.
When I picked him up that afternoon, he told me about the fall and complained that he couldn't take a deep breath. I had concerns that he may have hurt his ribs, broken them, punctured his lung and would explode at some point during the week. So, I took him to the evening clinic to check out those ribs........
No, the doctor poked around and noted that the pain was not in his ribs, but lower and he seemed to have more pain in his kidney area. He called for a urinalyses.
Guess What??? That showed that there was blood in his urine!!!
The Peds Doc told us that we had to go to the Emergency Room for further testing because he had SIGNIFICANT blood in his urine. The options would run anywhere from "watching him to surgery". NICE!!!!
The decision was to watch him even though there was visible blood in his urine. I spent the rest of the week viewing his urine. Well.........I haven't done that since he was a toddler, but I could see the dark color which indicated the high level of blood.
Who doesn't love spending 5 hours in the ER beginning at 8:00pm?
As long as things didn't get worse, we were cleared to get on the plane for the Funeral on Thursday. A follow-up with his family doctor on Wednesday afternoon showed high levels of urine still in the blood, but 3 days was too soon for surgical intervention.
We were cleared to go ahead with our plans to fly out on Thursday for the funeral..... the flight which would include the kids, their Mom, and ..........Ward's fiancee. I'll move to that story next...........

I am here! I am here!

Okay, so it may seem as though I have disappeared over the last 2 weeks. I have not, I promise. However, I do have much to catch up on. Be looking for the upcoming topics which have happened since I posted at the beginning of the month:

The Kidney
The Transportation
The Funeral
The Gala
The Recovery
The Appointment
The Birthday Party

Did this catch your attention? If so, check back over the next couple of days as I recal the wild events of the last 2 weeks.

PLUS - COUNTDOWN: 8 Days to Bahamas!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Great Loss

At least 27 years ago, my ex-Father-in-Law, George, was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and shared that information with his son. When I first met George he walked on 1 cane, then moved to 2 canes and was an Eagle-eyed father of a college-aged son.
He gave us heck as we dated, laughed when I "bippety-bopped" across the room and threw my fist into his son's shoulder when he made a "silly statement", and turned his head as he caught us getting to know each other better.
We visited him in Philly when we first got together, then Florida after they moved to Amelia Island, and in Vermont every summer for the family event.
He had the pleasure of seeing his first grandchild, Drew..........the grandson, at an early age. Drew was put on the tray of his wheelchair while grabbing his Grandfather's beard. Even up until this past February of 2008, he enjoyed the visits of his grandchildren. Ginny would try to kiss him, but was too short reach him. He used to say "Pucker up, Long Lips!" So, little Ginny would stretch her lips and give him kisses, sometimes with the help of her Dad lifting her up........but, she was always Long Lips!
For years, George has been close to the end of his life. He said goodbye last year, and allowed organ failure to rush his body to the hospital. He had cancerous tumors in his lungs which should've been the final straw for his weak body.........he made it through. He had organ failure, which caused his weak body to be rushed to the hospital so he could die. He managed to live through each of those.
Last Feburary (2007), George was admitted to the hospital with organ failure. He was inchoherent, and talking about being taken away. George was given a dose of medication which brought him about. The day after his goodbyes, George was eating Pork Chops. This is one of our favorite stories of him and his strength.

Today, Sunday, March 2, 2008, George was rushed to the hospital with organ failure once again. We all waited for word. His eldest son, and father of my 2 kids - Drew & Ginny, flew down once again to be with his Mother. We waited to hear that he had once again regained concisousness and was ready for his Pork Chops. We are still waiting to hear those words. ALAS, those words have not come.

Today, Sunday March 2, 2008 after 3:00 pm EST, George let go of the pain in his body. His wife was by his side and his grandchildren were waiting to hear that he was ready for his next meal.

George passed away today and has left all of us to deal with that sadness. While shocked that he finally let go, the family has to deal with the emptiness of life without him. George is finally able to rest in peace and support his family in the way he has been wanting to for years.

God Bless George Lavino - Husband, GrandFather, Father, Father-in-law, Amazing Strength...

Ahhh, The JOY of Taxes..

Thank Goodness I do not have to do my own. Years ago, I left that in the fine hands of a woman who actually enjoys dealing with that kind of crap. All that I have to do is get all of my paperwork together and toss it in a folder for her to deal with. I try to organize it nicely for her, ever the OCD freak that I am.
I organized it this year, I really did..........
There's so much stuff to go through, decide where it all belongs, give it a name or a category. So, here today, are a few of my categories:
Income
Banking
Mortgage.......this is where it all went downhill.....
Child Care CRAP
My Medical CRAP
Kids' Medical CRAP
And, finally, the category in which one sets the rest of it all.....
MISC. CRAP.......
So, here's to the CRAP to be sent to the Local, State, and Federal Government to filter through the CRAP, to give me back what I deserve.
Let's hope it's the JOY rather than the CRAP!

Highlight of the Month

This is a category which I just added last month. I am going to find a minimum of one Highlight each month. It is the 18th of this month and I'm getting a bit concerned that my cracked toilet will be my highlight of the month. If that happens, shoot me now..............

My can is cracked!!!!

Yes, folks! I've got a crack in my can which just cracks me arse! This is the second toilet I've had put in my main bathroom. What is the deal? Are we particularly hard toilet users? Must we be more gentle with our potty? Do normal people go through this many toilets in 5 years.
So, for now, my toilet is turned off. I've met a new plumber that I like and will use instead of the company I've been going with for the last 15 years as their prices are rising and their toilets keep cracking.

They say..........

They say there's no use crying over spilled milk.
What if said milk spills on your Coach purse? Is crying allowed at that point?
I'm jus' sayin'.....

Who's Picking Henry Up?!!!???

Henry is my soon-to-be 12-year-old nephew. He is the son of my sister, Alice and her husband, Tim. He is a smart, loving young boy with Autism. His gift is that he is an Entertainer Savant. Give him a script, staging, lighting, costumes and he's good to go. Give him the annoying logistics of life, and he really doesn't care...just needs the bottom line.
Alice was preparing Henry for her trip to Maryland and some of what would happen with his schedule while she was gone. She told him that she would not be home to pick him up on Monday, but his Dad would be in class, so Mimi would pick him up, and she would come later and he could decide if he wanted to sleep at Mimi & GrandDad's or have her drive him home after she arrived....blah, blah, blah is what Henry must have heard because all he cared about for Monday was "WHO'S PICKING HENRY UP?" This was, apparently, said with a frustrated tone and hand gestures.......

This has become my motto when frustrated with the logistics of life......"WHO'S PICKING HENRY UP?" Sometimes, I allow the daily logistics to bog me down. What's happening here, there, everywere....upside-down, boy ya turn me, inside-out, and, round-n-round. When all I really want to know is........

WHO'S PICKING HELEN UP???

Shape Up!!!

When my sister and brother were staying here, we stumbled upon an area in which I have a defecit. Now, there aren't many, so this came as shock to us all.

Apparently, I am not spatially in tuned with items. So, this may not explain why I trip over things or bump into walls since those usually occur after a wild & crazy night with friends. But, we discovered this was an issue after attempting to put leftovers into storage containers. I've got a cabinet full of containers and lids that NEVER seem to match. It is the most frustrating thing, and I dread leftovers because of it.

So as I was in MY kitchen, attempting to CLEAN UP by pulling out lid after lid to fit on top of the stinkin' container, my sister was staring at me, smirking.........yes, I believe she was laughing at me. I believe her words were "you're trying to fit square lids onto a round container"

Well!!!! Good thing they don't make me match shapes at Johns Hopkins University's Center for Technology in Education! I fully intend to blame this inability on my parents for not providing proper educational toys for me as a child. I was the middle child, after all! ;)

Baby Got Big Feet!

Upon returning home after running around at work all day, then grocery shopping, my feet were fatigued. I had heels on, but needed to go back into the cold weather to retrieve the groceries from the car. By the front door were a pair of my son's sneakers which would fit the bill.....or so I thought.

I slipped my feet into them knowing that I'd only need them for a trip or two outside. They were too big!!!!! MY ALMOST 14 YEAR OLD SON'S SHOES WERE TOO BIG!!!! And, that was the pair he told me was getting a bit tight.

What the Heck????!!!!????

Well, you know what they say about a guy with big feet......................big shoes..........

Le Weekend de Smetheram

Last weekend was an incredibly fun, exciting, and proud weekend for le famille Smetheram.
My sister flew up from Florida on Thursday evening, stayed with me & my kids, my brother came on Friday and the kids went to their Dad's. That left me, Alice, & Charles staying at my house Friday through Monday. Ginny's room was made up for Alice and Drew's room was made up for Charles.
Can I tell you how much fun we had? WOW!!!!

Here were some of the agenda items:
Eating Out
- Pazo - http://www.pazorestaurant.com/ (succulent tapas and hugs for the waiter)
- Ledo Pizza - http://www.ledopizza.com/ (tribute to my Robby)
- Cafe Bonaparte in Georgetown - http://www.napoleondc.com/main.html (DC Restaurant Week)
Entertainment
- National Treasure 2 (for historical value)
- H & M (for a Swedish memory)
- Mount Vernon - Tour of the Mansion and basements which are rarely opened (because it was in the historical movie we choose to view)
Priceless Moments
-Making fun of our parents
-Making fun of each other as kids
-Making fun of each other as adults

What made it such a proud weekend was that we were so excited about it! I know our parents were excited that the three of us were together. As a parent, I can't even imagine how proud I would be if one of my children went and stayed at the home of my other child. Proud of both of them for being adults together.
As children, who would ever have thought they would voluntarily spend time with their siblings in their own house.......like, a grown-up house, like...yanno? Crazy, just crazy, I tell ya!

How great is it to have such an amazing, fun, proud, and exciting memory this early into 2008! And, this is just the beginning!

Hey, Big Spender!

The minute I walked in the joint....
I received a JCPenney's bill on my card under my previously married name. I haven't used that card in over 2 years. It was paid off and I really should have closed it, but I put it in my desk planning to shred it later which I failed to do.
The bill contained a dozen transactions at 3 different locations between 11/30/2007 & 12/16/2007 totalling $1,755.24. Since I had not used the card in over 2 years, I knew they were not my charges. The other telling point was that there were toddler purchases as well as men's shirts & neckwear. "Considering I no longer have toddlers and have rid myself of the men in my life, that was another strong indication that the charges were not mine", I explained to the voice on the other end of the phone at the JCPenney service dept. The explanation produced laughter which was what I needed in order not to scream, cry, throw things, or fall on the floor and throw a tantrum.
Anyway, they will gather the signatures, send them to me, and I will send them a copy of my driver's license to prove it was not me. Shouldn't be too hard considering my driver's license is a different name. The account has been cancelled.
THE FUNNIEST PART is that they spent so much, that I was automatically upgraded to platinum level and received my new card today which was sent out before I got the bill and made the call.

Hence, I am a woman of distinction, a real big spender!

Sorry, but I must complain

Why does my ex feel that he needs to bring his fiancee into my house when he comes in to drop things off for the kids. Are they attached at the hip? Is he unable to walk without her there? Is she unable to walk without him?
I don't really want to see him, but must since we have children together. I don't really want him in my house, but must since we have children together. But do I really need both of them in my house?

Prayer: God, give me strength and patience to deal with people who act like an ass and don't even know they've got it tattooed on their foreheads.

It's really hard to be ........

It's really hard to be a great, technologically advanced, amazing parent. No, really, ......it is!

Due to my amazing ability to provide for my children technologically, networking my home computers for internet & printing purposes, networking my Tivos for sheer amazement, and being up on emerging technologies, I AM NO LONGER ABLE TO GET ON MY OWN COMPUTERS!!!!!!

I've provided so much for my children that they are now on the computers for homework, research, and mass amusement. This means that I can't get on my home computers. Time to make up a spreadsheet schedule for computer use in this house.............but, wait...........that will require that I have TIME ON MY OWN COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!

Love 'em both! Because as advanced as I may think I am, technologically speaking, they are light years ahead of me in brilliance.

Dear 2008

Dear 2008 –

Your predecessor sent many challenges my way. My hope for us is that we will work together and walk hand-in-hand through the year.

Here is something I would like to work on……
I believe in God, but I think that I have forgotten that He believes in me. Please help me to see in me what God does as I go through my daily life, good or bad.

Helen

New Year's Resolution, 2008

I am not great with keeping resolutions and find New Year’s Resolutions to be uninspired and forced due to the expectations of the media and commercialism.

Therefore, I will make only one resolution this year……

I resolve to turn 40 this year!

Try to stop that one!!!!